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| | Looking after our children is a religious assignment |  |
| | | كاتب الموضوع | رسالة |
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أحمد محمد لبن Ahmad.M.Lbn
مؤسس ومدير المنتدى
عدد المساهمات : 52644
العمر : 72
| | موضوع: Looking after our children is a religious assignment الخميس 04 مايو 2017, 11:00 pm | |
| Looking after our children is a religious assignment 
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of Creations, and Peace and blessings be upon our prophet Muhammad, the faithful and the honest.
Oh, Allah, we know nothing but what You teach us. You are the All- Knower, the Wise. Oh Allah, teach us what is good for us, and benefit us from what You taught us, and increase our knowledge. Show us the righteous things as righteous and help us to do them, and show us the bad things as bad and help us to keep away from them.
O Allah our Lord, lead us out from the depths of darkness and illusion, unto the lights of erudition and knowledge, and from the muddy shallows of lusts unto the heavens of Your Vicinity.
Children are the source of joy in life:
First, children are the plants of life, fruits of hope, apples of eyes, flowers of the nation, and they are its blossoms, moreover, they are the glad tidings: ﴾ (Allah said) "O Zakariya (Zachariah)! Verily, We give you the glad tidings of a son﴿ [Maryam, 7].
They are the comfort of the eyes:
﴾ And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun" (pious).﴿ [Al-Furqan, 74]
They are the affection and mercy:
﴾ And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy.﴿ [Ar-Rum, 21]
Scholars said: children are the affection and mercy, not to mention that they are the adornment of the life of this world:) Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world.﴿ [Al-Kahf, 46]
Looking after our children is a religious assignment:
Dear brothers, looking after children is a religious obligation, and loving them is an approach towards Allah because they are the dearest to Him.
Here is a symbolic story for clarification: once upon a time a prophet passed by a woman baking bread in front of an oven (kiln), and she put her son on one side of it, so upon putting every loaf of bread in the oven, she embraced, smelled and kissed her son, at which the prophet was amazed, and he said: “What a mercy You (Allah) bestowed this woman with! It is the mercy of Allah the Almighty, so Allah said: “I will take away this mercy”, hence, upon taking away the mercy from the heart of the mother, and when her son cried, she held him and threw him in the oven.
Therefore, the affection of parents towards their children is the love of Allah the Almighty.
﴾ And I endued you with love from Me, in order that you may be brought up under My Eye,﴿ [Ta-Ha, 39]
These are delicate words: The love, which fills the heart of the mother and the father, is the love of Allah towards mankind, for He is the one who installed it in their hearts.
Hence, children are Allah’s dearest creatures, loving them is an approach towards Him, and looking after them is a religious duty, Allah says:) I swear by this city (Makkah); And you are free (from sin, to punish the enemies of Islam on the Day of the conquest) in this city (Makkah), And by the begetter (i.e. Adam) and that which he begot (i.e. his progeny);﴿ [Al-Balad, 1-2]
The system of paternity and Filiation:
The system of paternity and sonship is a profound example through which we know Allah, how so? Though man is in no need for his son, but his top interest is to grant him happiness, prosperity, and health. Nothing is dearer to the father and mother among human beings than their own child, for they sacrifice what's worthy and cheap and the soul and the valuable, furthermore, the mother is ready to stay hungry in order to feed her child, and she is ready to live in fear in order to grant safety to her child.
In order to shed a light on how the father and son universal system gets us to know Allah the Almighty, consider the following: A mother will stay sleepless all night long for the sake of her son, and she will be worried about him if he is ill, why? That is because mercy is instilled in her heart by Allah, so accordingly, how about the owner of this mercy (how about the mercy of Allah)?
Pay attention:
﴾ And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently.﴿ [Aal-‘Imran, 159]
﴾ And your Lord is Most Forgiving, Owner of Mercy.﴿ [Al-Kahf, 58]
The prophet PBUH is the most merciful to creatures among creatures, yet when the word mercy was mentioned in the following Ayah, it was indefinite, Allah says:) And by Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently.﴿
﴾ And your Lord is Most Forgiving, Owner of Mercy.﴿
Another noble Ayah:
﴾ I swear by this city (Makkah); And you are free (from sin, to punish the enemies of Islam on the Day of the conquest) in this city (Makkah), And by the begetter (i.e. Adam) and that which he begot (i.e. his progeny);﴿
The system of paternity exists because of sons and daughters.
Allah has created the human race to have mercy on them:
The divine providence and mercy is best defined by the following Ayah:
﴾ Except him on whom your Lord has bestowed His Mercy (the follower of truth - Islamic Monotheism) and for that did He create them.﴿ [Hud, 119]
He created them to have mercy on them, now the second Ayah is:
﴾ Allah commands you as regards your children's (inheritance);﴿ [An-Nisa’, 11]
Every Ayah in the Quran has a context, a preceding Ayah, and a following Ayah, however, if you take out any Ayah from its context, it will indicate a different fact beyond the frame of time and place.
﴾ And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). ﴿ [At-Talaaq, 2]
This Ayah was mentioned in Surat Al Tqlak, and it means in its context: whosoever fears Allah in divorcing his wife, and performs the divorce one time only,) He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
“A way” here means: A way to bring back his wife, for he performed divorce only one time. )He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
However, if we take this Ayah out of its context, it will indicate a durable fact (And whosoever fears Allah)
Whosoever fears Allah in earning his money;
﴾ He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
Allah will not destroy it (And whosoever fears Allah﴿ in raising his children, Allah will make a way for him by making them obedient to him And whosoever fears Allah) in earning his money;) He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
In choosing his wife; and encyclopedias can be written in regards of the previous Ayah. Upon taking this Ayah out of its context, it will turn into a general law.
The following Ayah is also mentioned in matters of inheritance , however, if we take it out of its context) Allah commands you as regards your children's (inheritance);﴿ [An-Nisa’, 11]
The Creator of heavens and earth is commanding us as regards our children.
Miserable children are the source of misery for the parents:
By Allah, let me tell you this following fact, and believe me the bitter reality is better than the comfortable illusion: Our children, as Muslims, are the only valuable asset we have got left, and unless your son turns out the way you want him to, you will be the most miserable person despite any wealth you collect, any position you occupy or any worldly status you achieve.
For that Allah says:
﴾ So let him not get you both out ﴿ [Ta-Ha, 117]
Adam and Eve
﴾ So let him not get you both out ﴿
﴾ out of Paradise, so that you be distressed in misery.﴿ [Ta-Ha, 117]
Namely, for both of you (according to Arabic syntax)
﴾ So let him not get you both out ﴿
This Ayah:
﴾ so that you be distressed in misery.﴿
According to context, it meant for both. What did the interpretation scholars say? They said: these are concise eloquent words, and that is because the misery of man absolutely results in the misery of his wife ﴾ So let him not get you both out of Paradise, so that you be distressed in misery.﴿
Along the same lines, mother and father become miserable if their children are miserable.
By Allah, the only God, sometimes I receive phone calls from parents who are about to die of agony because of their children's corruption.
Pious children are man’s best gain:
I address every father and mother: it is an indescribable ecstasy of the state of sprit when children become the comfort of the eye, Allah says:
﴾ And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun" (pious).﴿ [Al-Furqan, 74]
Raising children is a great deed that is rewarded in worldly life before the hereafter, and what is the reward in the latter?
﴾ And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in Faith, to them shall We join their offspring﴿ [At-Tur, 21]
“Whose offspring follow them” means that their offspring’s deeds will be on their scale of deeds. When you raise a pious son, all his deeds, his children’ deeds and their descendants’ deeds till the end of days, will be on your scale of deeds on the Day of Resurrection, hence: ((Pious son is man’s best earning)) [Tabarani, by Abu Burdah Bin Nayyar]
The best earning, one can get, is a pious son after him.
Upon having righteous children you guarantee your continuity:
One, as I have mentioned before, is molded to like his/her existence, the safety and the perfection of his/her existence.
The safety of your existence is fulfilled through obeying Allah, which comes mainly in a negative form like when you say: I didn’t lie, I didn’t backbite, or I didn’t fall behind, so as you see it includes a negative form, whereas the good deed embraces a positive sense and fulfills happiness.
Hence, righteousness starts with the word “I didn’t”, whereas the good deed starts with: I donated, I gave, I sacrificed, I served, I spent, or I guided, and through righteousness you gain your safety, whereas through the good deed you gain happiness. As for the continuity of your existence, it is fulfilled through raising pious children.
A remarkable scholar died, and on the last day of grievance, his son took the stand and gave a splendid speech that touched me deep ly.I said: this man didn’t die! Having raised his son to be like him, then he didn’t die!
Again, you gain your safety through righteousness, your happiness through good deeds, and the continuity of your existence through raising pious children.
The prophet PBUH said:
((Your children are the best legitimate earning of yours)) [Abu Dawood, by Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn Al A’as]
However, you should know that this takes time, for you need to be with your son guiding him, and be sure that any job that consumes all your time, is a loss, not to mention that it cancels your fatherhood, and prevents you from raising your children and from guiding them.
Your best deed is to raise religious children with good conducts:
I have told you so many times before that success in life can’t be partial.
Success can’t be achieved by having a huge income at the expense of neglecting your children, likewise success can’t be achieved by looking after your children and neglecting your connection with Allah, hence, success should be comprehensive in life, namely, you should be successful in your connection with Allah, in your relation with your wife and children, at your work and in regard of your health.
((Your children are the best legitimate earning of yours)) [Abu Dawood, by Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn Al A’as]
By Allah, I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I told you the following: the best deed which you could ever perform is to look after your son’s religion, conducts, education, spirit, social orientations and body, and whenever you are able to achieve that, verify that he will be the comfort of your eye.
Once I said to a father whose son was a student in the mosque, and who was pious, the first in his class, he had good conduct and he continuously sought education and Quranic knowledge: By Allah, your son is worth one hundred billion dollars by tangible measures. Therefore, you will be richer by having a son like this than if you owned one hundred billion dollars, and on the other hand, if you have limited resources, you will be missing nothing by having a son like this.
It is an individual obligatory to raise our children:
Hence: Allah commands you as regards your children's (inheritance);﴿ [An-Nisa’, 11]
The Great God is saying to you:
﴾ O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones﴿ [At-Tahrim, 6]
According to this Ayah, raising children is an individual obligation:
﴾ O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones﴿
It has been mentioned in the relic that the daughter who deserves hellfire on the Day of Resurrection because she went astray due to her father’s negligence in raising her, will say to Allah: O Lord, I will not enter hellfire until you admit my father first, because he is the reason behind my misery.
It makes a big difference to sublime to the highest levels or to fall down to the lowest levels because of the way you raise your children.
We should look after our children’ righteousness and religion:
Dear brothers Allah commands you as regards your children's (inheritance);﴿ [An-Nisa’, 11]
﴾O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones﴿
But on the other hand:
﴾ O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah.﴿ [Al-Munafiqun, 9]
This Ayah stresses on the comprehensive nature of success:
﴾ O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah.﴿
Given your children are under you care as an assignment by Allah the Almighty to you, you should raise them in the best ways, not to mention that you have to look after your own faith, righteousness, and you have to perform good deeds.
Caring less about our children’ religion is like killing them:
Upon mentioning the word “killing”, one of us would think of slaughtering, well that is not true, Allah said) And Al-Fitnah is worse than killing﴿ [Al-Baqarah, 191]
What is the destiny of the innocent baby girl who was buried alive before Islam,? She will be in paradise, Allah says:) And when the female (infant) buried alive (as the pagan Arabs used to do) shall be questioned. For what sin she was killed?﴿ [At-Takwir, 8-9]
According to the following Ayah:
﴾ And Al-Fitnah is worse than killing﴿
This means:
unless you raise your daughter properly (religiously), you will be killing her by doing the otherwise, for she will be corrupt, she will be exposing her body and she will be breaking away from the divine method, and the proof is in the following Ayah:) And Al-Fitnah is worse than killing﴿
This is why Allah said:
﴾ kill not your children because of (Imlak) poverty﴿ [Al-An’am, 151] |
| | | | أحمد محمد لبن Ahmad.M.Lbn
مؤسس ومدير المنتدى
عدد المساهمات : 52644
العمر : 72
| | موضوع: رد: Looking after our children is a religious assignment الخميس 04 مايو 2017, 11:07 pm | |
| The word “Imlaq” means poverty, however, this Ayah can be interpreted in a comprehensive sense, namely, you will be killing your children if your focus is to work hard to gain a a huge income at the expense of neglecting their religion and their Aqidah (creed).
Some parents might send their children to countries from which they come back as atheists, who disbelieve in their religion and nation, and for what?
You send them to attain a huge income, and this is a set back in which most parents fall, for they are so keen on their children’s worldly life only.
A father might care less about losing his son’s religion over taking a job in a distant country, where one can’t avoid the flaming distractions, temptations and corruption, this father is so keen on his son’s success in business and money but not so keen on having him committing all kinds of sins in that country. This is a very dangerous trap that Muslims fall into, and this aspect falls within the sense of the following Ayah:) kill not your children because of poverty﴿
Because:
﴾ And Al-Fitnah is worse than killing﴿
You will be killing your son by neglecting his religion, Aqidah (faith), and righteousness, and you will be killing him by caring less about his chaste and about being corrupt.
﴾ And Al-Fitnah is worse than killing﴿
Children are Allah’s grace to us that which we should look after:
Dear brothers, one more thing: ((Your children are Allah’s bestowal on you)) [Al Hakem, by Ai’shah]
Allah’s bestowal is very valuable.
During the past thirty years, I never gave a religious permission to an abortion, even if it was within the first forty days, and I always say: this is Allah’s gift to you, and it might turn out to be a proselytizing son, a great scientist, or a notable scholar. Babies are the divine gift to us, thus, we should look after this valuable gift.
((Your children are Allah’s bestowal on you))
The proof is in the following Ayah:
﴾ And We bestowed upon him Ishaque (Isaac) and Ya'qub (Jacob)﴿ [Al-An’am, 84]
﴾ and We bestowed upon him Yahya (John)﴿ [Al-Anbiya’, 90]
﴾ And to Dawud (David) We gave Sulaiman (Solomon)﴿ [Saad, 30]
This divine bestowal is a favor from Allah the Almighty upon you.
If a father happens to have a pious son, and he insists on saying that he didn’t do much in raising this son, however, he is pious by nature, this father should prostrate to Allah and thank Him for this pious son. Note that many knowledgeable, disciplined, influential and notable scholars yearn to have such a son (but sometimes they don't).) and We bestowed upon him﴿
This is another sense.
If you have got a very pious son, don’t claim being the reason behind his piousness, rather you should attribute it to Allah the Almighty who bestowed you with that gift (the pious son).
The pious son brings indescribable joy to his parents:
By Allah dear brothers, I will not be exaggerating if I say that having a pious son indulges the heart of the father and the mother with an ecstasy beyond any limits.
Upon finishing my speech in an Islamic conference that was held in Los Angeles, a woman, wearing a Hijab, approached me, and introduced herself as the sister of one of my friends back home. After I welcomed her, she burst into tears, so I said: What is wrong? She said: my daughter is a dancer and my son is an atheist.
In western countries you may attain a life of luxury, a huge income, and stunning views, however, you lose one thing in return; you lose your children.
Dear brothers, the prophet PBUH said:
((Be generous to your children and look after their conducts)) [Ibn Majah, by Anas Ibn Malek]
Will you believe that the prophet descended the Minbar (pulpit) in order to hold his grandchildren (Al Hasan and Husain) then continue his sermon?
Will you believe that the prophet PBUH prolonged his Sujood (prostrating) when Al Hasan mounted on his back, so that He will not disturb his playing?
The prophet PBUH used to have a cheerful face upon entering his house, and he used to say: ((Be generous to your children and look after their conducts)) [Ibn Majah, by Anas Ibn Malek]
((Whoever is bestowed by a child, let him play and act like one)) [Al Jame’e Al Sagheer, by Abu Mo’awiyah]
The master of mankind and prophets (Mohammad PBUH) used to play with his grandchildren, for they used to mount his back.Have you ever met a father like this father (the prophet)?
Equality in everything between children is an obligation:
Among the prophetic instructions is the following hadith: ((Fear Allah and treat your children equally)) [Agreed upon, by Nu’man Ibn Bashir]
By Allah dear brothers, you should treat your children equally even in your kisses and smiles. A father might tend to treat one of his children better than the other because of his smartness or good looks, and might mistreat his other son. Do you know that, by such an act, you are creating in this other son complexes, devastation, and psychological problems; moreover, he might die and never forget your stance against him?
I ask every believing father to treat his children equally even in kisses and smiles, not to mention of course clothing, food, drinks and money, for providing these things are obvious. However, I am talking about things that you might overlook, like kissing, holding, hugging, and smiling, so why would you discriminate between your children in regard of these things?
((and treat your children equally)) [Agreed upon, by Nu’man Ibn Bashir]
Even in kisses.
((O messenger of Allah, be a witness that I give this garden as a gift to my son, so the prophet PBUH said: Do you have another son? The man answered: Yes. So the prophet PBUH said: Will you give him a similar gift?
To which the man said:
No! Thereupon the prophet PBUH said: Ask someone else to be a witness, for I will never be a witness on injustice.))
Once I was told that a father left one thousand million Liras after his death, one of his two sons works as a truck driver, whereas the second owns eighty real estates, but the latter was pious enough to give his brother all his rights in his father’s heritage.
((One of you may spend sixty years worshipping Allah with obedience, then by doing injustice with his will; he will deserve Hell-Fire)) [Mentioned in the relic]
((Fear Allah and treat your children equally))
And in another Hadith:
((Give all your children similar gifts)) [Al Hareth, by Abdullah Ibn Abbas]
Heroism lies in gaining our children’ respect and love:
However in another Hadith, the prophet PBUH said: ((Help your children to be reverent to you)) [Tabarani, by Abu Hurairah]
Allah will have mercy on a father who helps his son to be reverent to him. A father can do that by helping his son with his pocket money by hiring him in his store, or by helping him getting married and buying a house.
I used to say:
Every father is respected in our culture (as Muslims) but not every father is loved. Heroism is to be loved (by your children) rather than forcing them to respect you.
((Help your children to be reverent to you))
((Allah will have mercy on a father who helps his son to be reverent to him))
In another Hadith, the prophet PBUH said:
((Be generous to your children and look after their conducts))
Our master Ali had a similar statement, for he said: “Be generous to your children, and well-educate them, as they are created for a different era than yours”
We are suffering a gap between generations, for the father lived in the fifties (for example) according to a special life style, but his son needs a computer, which the father is not convinced of, well, you should catch up with all the scientific breakthroughs that are occurring, of course under one condition: that they are permissible (by Islamic laws). Hence your measures (in accepting and refusing as a father) should be according to the permissible nature of things not to your conviction towards them.
Allah has installed affection towards children in parents’ hearts:
Here is another instruction from the prophet PBUH, he said: ((Neglecting one's own dependents is a reason enough for a man to commit a sin)) [Muslim and Abu Dawood, by Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn Al A’as]
This Hadith is about the father, who provides his son with food, drink, cloths, and looks after his health, but he neglects his faith, his righteousness, and he isn’t so keen on his prayers, instead, all he is keen on is his study, and health.
I am almost positive to say: loving our children is a natural thing, whereas the reverent of our children is an assignment, and there is a big difference between the two.
Can you imagine that a prime minister lays laws to order his employees to have breakfast? This is ridiculous, for having food is natural thing to do, and it doesn’t need orders.
Much along the same line, Allah installed affection in parents’ hearts towards their kids, so that they can raise them, and this is applicable to all people, the believer and the disbeliever, the righteous and the stray, and the educated person and the ignorant one alike.
No proof is stronger than observing any mother in a children’s hospital, for having a sick son makes any mother cry either she was in Hijab or not, ignorant, educated or a Bedouin, because Allah installed affection towards children in the hearts of parents.
Parents’ love to children is natural and children’ reverent is a mandate:
Pay attention to what I am about to say: loving your children does not give you any reward, because it is like having breakfast, do you think by having breakfast you performed a great deed? Did you draw closer to Allah by having breakfast? Did you cry in your prayer after having breakfast?
Of course not! Because eating is a need and a natural thing to do, and you are not rewarded for it. Then when does the father receive a reward for raising his children? He will be rewarded when he looks after their religion, prayers, Aqidah, conducts, and their hereafter.
Verify all people east and west look after their children’s well-being, because taking care of your children’s health is a natural thing to do. For that, you find only one Ayah in the respect of heritage (Allah commands you as regards your children's (inheritance);﴿ [Al-Nisa’, 11]
﴾ a portion equal to that of two females;﴿ [Al-Nisa’, 11]
However, children’s reverence to their parents is a mandate:
﴾ And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour) [Al-Isra’, 23]
The children will be rewarded for being reverent to their parents, simply because they can neglect them, for it is not something installed in their nature.
At the end of time, one might say to his mother if she has a fight with his wife: “You are the reason behind all adversities that I have” that is because he fulfills his desires with his wife, whereas his mother is a burden on his shoulders and that is enough reason for him to grumble.
Again, the affection that parents have towards their children is a nature that is installed in them, whereas the reverence of children to their parents is a mandate.
Parents will never sublime unless they look after their children:
The reverent son/daughter will be rewarded abundantly by Allah.
Taking care of children’s health and education is not enough, for parents should look after their children’s faith, Aqidah, righteousness, and prayers, and instead of asking the mother if she fed them and helped them in their homework, the father should ask the mother if they pray or not: (And enjoin As-Salat (the prayer) on your family, and be patient in offering them [i.e. the Salat (prayers)]. ﴿ [Ta-Ha, 132]
You will never sublime in the sight of Allah unless you look after your children’s religion.
Looking after children is the best deed at all:
Dear brothers: ((The teaching of good manners by a man to his children is better for him than to give a sa’a in charity)) [Tirmizi, by Jaber Ibn Sumrah]
Raising children is a great deed to perform.
((Noting is better than good conducts to be taught to a child by his father)) [Tirmizi, by Mursal Sa’eed Ibn Al A’as]
A father is behind any disciplined polite person.
This is why Allah has heard the woman who complained to the prophet PBUH from above seven heavens, Allah said:﴾ Indeed Allah has heard the statement of her (Khaulah bint Tha'labah) that disputes with you (O Muhammad) concerning her husband (Aus bin As-Samit), and complains to Allah.﴿ [Al-Mujadilah, 1]
A woman (Khawla bint Tha'labah) came to the prophet PBUH complaining about her husband, she said: “O messenger of Allah, my husband married me when I was young, wealthy, beautiful, and had kindred, but when I turned old, out of shape, poor, and my kindred dispersed, he said: You are like my mother's back to me, and I have children with him, so if I left them, they will get lost without me, and if I take them into my custody they will become hungry))
This indicates that the man is the one who provides the kids with sustenance, and the mother takes care of raising and educating them.
Hence:
((Noting is better than good conducts to be taught to a child by his father))
[Tirmizi, by Mursal Sa’eed Ibn Al A’as]
We should respect children’ personalities and treat them like adults:
The prophet PBUH said also: ((Train your children to acquire three characteristics: love of your Prophet…….)) [Tabarani, by Ali]
Will you ever assume that this hadith means to ask our children just to love the prophet? No, this is ridiculous, it means that you should sit down with your children every now and then in order to tell them about the prophet’s conducts, about his humbleness, his mercy, his affection towards children, and remind them of his way of dealing with kids.
The prophet PBUH once asked a child’s permission, who was sitting next to him, to give a drink of water to Abu Bakr who wasn’t next to him, to which the kid said: No I don’t give you permission. The prophet treated the kid with respect and considered him as an adult.
A father, sometimes, consults his young son, which makes the latter feel important, so the father says: What do you think of this matter son?
Affection comes as a result of consulting, and if only fathers consult their children and get them involved in making important decisions in the family instead of giving order after order, this will raise their self esteem. Hence you should ask your son about his opinion.
A father I know told me: I usually put a sum of money in a well-known place in the house, and I ask my sons to take what they need after writing down what they took (from that sum), by such an act, he taught them responsibility, for this sum of money should serve their needs for a whole month, and given they are three sons, everyone of them will be careful enough to take what he needs only, thinking about his two brothers.
Another story about of a brother who told me:
I have a son who was excellent at school, so I said to him: O son, there is a well-known calligrapher who is about to die (because of old age), and I think you are going to be a good doctor in the future, so go to him, and ask him to engrave your name (with Dr. before his name) on a big copper plaque (his son was at that time in eighth grade ), so the son did what his father told him to do, and he hanged it in his room watching it in the morning and evening, till he became now one of the best doctors (because of this plaque).
I met a remarkable scientist in Hajj, he said to me:
I am from a small village from Homs (one of Syrian cities), and a relative of mine once said to me: “It is a shame not to be a doctor”, so he said : By Allah, I kept repeating this sentence over and over in order to fulfill it (and he did).
All the deeds of the pious son are in the parents’ scale of deeds:
You should look after your son, take care of his studies, his conduct, and you should know who his friends are? What is bothering him? You should be kind to him in order for him to open up to you, and befriend him and don’t put barriers between you and your son.
Play with your son the first seven years of his age, and discipline him the next seven years (till he is fourteen), through which you watch his manners, conduct and behavior, and if, for example, he brought something home which doesn’t belong to him, you should tell him to give it back to its owner, and so forth. After fourteen you can leave him on his own.
I was amazed once upon entering the room of one of the attendants of a conference, as it was so tidy, and given it is a hotel room and no visitors will enter it, yet he was keen on keeping it tidy, and he said to me: My family taught me since my early years of age to tidy my clothes and room.
I met a person once and asked him about the time I should meet him the next morning, he said to me: I will see you at 6 AM in my office, so I asked him why so early in your office? He said to me: My father used to take me with him to Al Fajr Salah (dawn prayers) everyday and this habit stayed with me, for I wake up every day before Fajr, I pray, then I go to my office.
This father used to bring his son to Al Fajr Salah, and he created a good habit in his son, so don’t think light of such things, as your son might become beneficial to people after your death because of your instructions to him.
I was once in Izra’a (a small town in Syria), one of the people whispered to me: this town is the home town of Ibn Al Kayem Al Jawziyah, to which I said: Glory is to Allah! Ibn Al Kayem was a small boy in this town, would any one think that this small boy will turn out to be Ibn Al Kayem (the famous scholar)?
There are many more notable scholars like the Darani (from Daryiah village), and the Nawawi (from Nawa village), all of whom raised high the word of Islam.
You should expect your son to be an important person in the future, a great scholar, a notable scientist, an influential proselytizer, a successful surgeon, or a distinguished architect, so be ready, for all his deeds will be on your scale of deeds.
These issues will be the topics to tackle in the coming lectures.
Translation : Noura Sharabi
Edited by : Ghada homad
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