(86) The art of discussion
You must have a memory of a meeting you may have had with a friend where the two of you angrily argued, after which you were left bitter and angry for days. Perhaps, you might also recall an argument you saw between two people, perhaps over a trivial issue, where the two of them raised voices in anger, after which they were left resenting one another.
Sometimes we tire ourselves by winning people over by using various skills only to then alienate them from ourselves by behaving inappropriately. This is often caused by the lack of expertise in discussion and argumentation.
The debater is like a rock-climber. It is important that he is careful where he places his hands and feet. You will find that a rock-climber will first look at the rock he wishes to hold on to.
He examines it fully and thinks whether or not it would withstand his weight before grabbing hold of it. He does the same with the rock he wishes to place his foot upon. When he wants to move his foot away from one rock to another, he carefully examines the stone before lifting his foot, in case he makes a mistake and falls.
I would not make a discussion or debate long.
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Rather, I would keep it concise and precise. It is not admirable to become engaged in a discussion or an argument. Perhaps you may even agree with me that more than 90% of the arguments are not beneficial.
Try to avoid argumentation as much as possible. Do not be angry if someone criticises you and tries to argue with you. Relax as much as you can and do not upset yourself contemplating the intention of the one who criticises you, thinking, “What does he want? Why did he embarrass me in front of others?” Do not kill yourself with anxiety. Deal with the situation calmly. Winds only blow away small rocks - and you are a mountain!
When the Prophet Peace be upon him came to Makkah as a conqueror after the Quraysh had nullified their treaty with him, the Prophet Peace be upon him had prayed to Allah to blind the Quraysh from noticing him so that he could attack them in surprise when they were unaware.
When the Prophet Peace be upon him headed towards Makkah, he stopped over at a nearby place whilst the Quraysh had no knowledge of it. But they were nonetheless on the lookout for him.
That same night, Abu Sufyan along with some of his companions went out on a reconnaissance mission, as the Prophet Peace be upon him waited for dawn to break so that he could attack the Quraysh.
When al-‘Abbas – may Allah be pleased with him – saw this, he said, “O for the morning that Quraysh are going to witness!
By Allah, if the Messenger of Allah enters Makkah by force before they come to him to seek his protection, the Quraysh will be destroyed forever!”
Al-‘Abbas went to the Prophet Peace be upon him and sought his permission to leave, and the Prophet Peace be upon him granted him it. Al-‘Abbas mounted on the Prophet’s white mule and left.
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Abu Sufyan along with his companions meanwhile came closer to the camp of the Prophet Peace be upon him, unaware that the army actually belonged to the Prophet Peace be upon him. As he looked at the fires that the Muslims had lit, he said, “I have never seen such huge fires lit, nor an army as huge as this. How great it is! I wonder who they are?”
One of his companions said, “This is, by Allah, the Khuza’ah tribe, and they are excited about war!”
Abu Sufyan replied, “Khuza’ah is too feeble and too small in number to have this many fires lit and to have such a huge encampment.”
Abu Sufyan got closer and closer to the camp, until he fell into the hands of a group of Muslim guards who captured him and decided to take him to the Prophet Peace be upon him.
Meanwhile, as al-‘Abbas was riding his mule, he saw Abu Sufyan and his companions who had just been captured by the Muslim horsemen. Abu Sufyan came forward frightened and began to follow al-‘Abbas as his followers followed after him, being guarded by the Muslim horsemen from behind.
Al-‘Abbas moved swiftly with Abu Sufyan to see the Messenger of Allah Peace be upon him, and each time they passed by a fire, the Muslims asked, “Who is this person?” When they saw al-‘Abbas mounted on the Prophet’s mule, they said, “It is the uncle of the Messenger of Allah Peace be upon him on his mule.”
Al-‘Abbas continued to move on in a hurry in case anyone spotted Abu Sufyan, until they passed by ‘Umar bin al-Khattab’s fire. He said, “Who is this person?” as he got up to see for himself.
When he noticed Abu Sufyan on the back of the horse, he screamed, “Abu Sufyan!
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The enemy of Allah! Praise be to Allah who landed you in our hands without there being any pact or treaty!”
However, al-‘Abbas prevented him from harming Abu Sufyan.
‘Umar hurriedly made his way to the Messenger of Allah Peace be upon him, as did al-‘Abbas who eventually arrived before ‘Umar. He jumped off the mule and ran to the Messenger of Allah Peace be upon him. ‘Umar followed closely behind and said, “O Messenger of Allah! This is Abu Sufyan! Allah has landed him into our hands without any pact or treaty! Allow me to strike his neck!”
Abu Sufyan had harmed the Muslims much. He was the leader of the pagans in the battle of Uhud and Ahzab. He was known for oppressing, killing and torturing the Muslims. Yet, here he was, finally captured by the Muslims!
Al-‘Abbas said, “O Messenger of Allah, I have granted him security.”
Al-‘Abbas then sat down and began to whisper something in the Prophet’s ears, whilst ‘Umar kept saying, “O Messenger of Allah! Strike off his neck!”
When ‘Umar persisted, al-‘Abbas turned to him and said, ‘Take it easy, O ‘Umar! If he was from the men of Banu ‘Adiy bin Ka’b, you wouldn’t have suggested that!” Meaning, if he was from your relatives, you would not have suggested what you did, but since you knew that he was from Banu ‘Abd Manaf, you had no qualms about suggesting what you did.
‘Umar realised that he was about to enter into a dispute which they could ill afford to have at this stage.
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Moreover, what benefit was there in even bothering to discuss the absurd notion that if the person was from Banu Ka‘b he would have been eager for him to accept Islam whereas if he wasn’t from them then he would not have been as eager?
‘Umar said very calmly, “Take it easy, O ‘Abbas! By Allah, the fact that you became a Muslim the day you did is more beloved to me than for my own grandfather to become a Muslim. This is because I know for a fact that your embracing Islam was more beloved to the Messenger of Allah Peace be upon him than his, if he were to do so.”
When al-‘Abbas heard this from ‘Umar, he fell silent and the discussion ended, even though, it was quite possible for ‘Umar to continue arguing by saying, “What do you mean?! Are you doubting my intention? Do you know what is in my heart? Why are you being tribalistic?” But he didn’t say any of this. They were all far above this to fall for the devil’s plot. Thereafter, ‘Umar and al-‘Abbas fell silent.
Meanwhile, Abu Sufyan was standing and waiting for the Messenger
of Allah Peace be upon him to pass a judgement concerning his case. The Prophet Peace be upon him said, “Take him with you, O ‘Abbas, to your tent, and bring him back to me in the morning.”
Al-‘Abbas took him to his tent where Abu Sufyan spent the night. When Abu Sufyan woke up the next morning and saw the people getting ready for the prayer and making ablution, he said to al-‘Abbas, “What is wrong with everyone?”
Al-‘Abbas said, “They have heard the call to prayer so they are getting ready to pray.”
When the time for prayer came, they lined up in rows and the Messenger of Allah Peace be upon him led them in prayer.
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When Abu Sufyan saw them bowing as the Prophet Peace be upon him bowed and prostrating as the Prophet Peace be upon him prostrated, he was amazed at their obedience and compliance. When the prayer ended, al-‘Abbas came to take Abu Sufyan to the Messenger of Allah Peace be upon him.
Abu Sufyan said, “O ‘Abbas, do they comply with whatever he orders them to do?”
Al-‘Abbas said, “Yes! By Allah, if he were to order them to forsake eating and drinking, they would!”
Abu Sufyan said, “O ‘Abbas, I have never witnessed anything like what I did last night in my whole life, not even the kingdom of Casroes and Caesar!”
When al-‘Abbas visited the Prophet Peace be upon him along with Abu Sufyan, the Prophet Peace be upon him said, “Woe be to you, O Abu Sufyan! Has the time not come for you to know that there is no one worthy of worship except Allah?”
The night that Abu Sufyan spent with the Muslims had had a profound effect in lessening his enmity towards the Muslims. He replied, “May my father and mother be sacrificed for you! How persevering and how generous of a relative you are! By Allah, I have now come to conclusion that if I had a god besides Allah, he would have helped me a bit!” The Prophet Peace be upon him said, “Woe be to you, O Abu Sufyan! Is it not time for you to acknowledge that I am the Messenger of Allah?”
Abu Sufyan expressed his view very openly, saying, “May my father and mother be sacrificed for you! How persevering and how generous of a relative you are! As for what you have just mentioned, then I still have doubts about it in my heart.”
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Al-‘Abbas said to him, “Woe be to you, O Abu Sufyan! Accept Islam and testify that there is no one worthy of worship but Allah, and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah!”
He remained silent for a while and then said, “I bear witness that there is no one worthy of worship but Allah, and I also bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.”
The Prophet Peace be upon him was overjoyed.
Al-‘Abbas said, “O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a man who loves dignity. Please, offer something to him in reward.”
The Prophet Peace be upon him replied, “Yes, whoever enters the house of Abu Sufyan is safe.”

A thought...
Intelligence is not to win an argument, it is to avoid it.
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