(72) Forgiving others
Life is full of pains that we suffer due to others. One makes an embarrassing joke, another throws an insult, and so on. Many people intrude into others’ private matters, others argue in public gatherings, others have different viewpoints and opinions, and so on.
Some of us exaggerate matters in the mind and are unwilling to forgive and forget. Some of us are too proud to accept people’s excuses and forgive them. Some people punish themselves by not forgiving others. Their hearts are often filled with envy that keeps their thoughts busy and constantly torments them.
How fair is envy! It begins with the one who harbours it and ends up killing him.
Therefore, do not torment yourself. There are certain things in the world that you simply cannot punish anyone over. Have a big heart, forget the past and continue to live your life as normal.
When the Prophet Peace be upon himentered Makkah as a conqueror and the people felt secure, he came to the Ka’bah and made Tawaf on his camel. When he finished the Tawaf, he called ‘Uthman bin Talhah and took from him the keys to the Ka’bah. The Ka’bah was then opened up to him and he entered.
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When he entered, he saw the images of angels and other beings from Quraysh’s imagination, based on their ignorance. When he saw the image of Ibrahim with arrows, as if he was raffling with them, he said,“May Allah curse them! They depicted our Shaykh raffling with arrows to divide the food! What has Ibrahim got to do with these arrows?’” (Refer to Quran 5:3)
“Ibrahim was neither a Jew nor a Christian, but he was a monotheist Muslim, and was not from the polytheists.”
He thus ordered that all such images be effaced. He then found a pigeon made of wood, broke it with his hands and threw it away. He then stood at the door of the Ka’bah while the people had gathered around in the mosque from the Muslims and the disbelievers to watch him. He prayed two units of prayer and made his way to Zamzam. He looked into the well and asked for some water to be fetched, which he drank from and made wudhu with, as the people hastily began to seek blessings from the remaining water. The pagans were left amazed. They said, “We have never seen or heard of a king being treated with this much respect.”
He then approached Maqam Ibrahim and moved it away from the Ka’bah as it was previously attached to it. He then stood at the door of the Ka’bah and began to look at the crowds – how much I wish I was with them! – and then gave a sermon: “There is no one worthy of worship but Allah! The one who has no partners! He has been true to His servant and aided him, and single-handedly destroyed all the armies! Indeed, every retribution for life, murder, or usury is under my feet, except the caretaking of the Ka’bah and providing water to the pilgrims.”
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He then laid down some of the rules of Shari’ah, saying, “For the one who is killed in the act of manslaughter with a whip or a stick, the blood-money for his life is a hundred camels, forty of them pregnant.” He carried on with his sermon and looked at the leaders of the Quraysh and said, “O Quraysh! Allah has ridden you of pre-Islamic pride, and the pride in your forefathers.
Men are descendants of Adam and Adam is made from dust!”
He then recited, “O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Indeed, the most honourable of you with Allah is the most God-fearing of you. Indeed, Allah is All-Knowing, All- Aware.”
He then began to focus on the faces of the disbelievers, as he was at the pinnacle of strength and dominion standing by the door of the Ka’bah, while the disbelievers were in the depths of disgrace and weakness. This was the place where they had rejected and humiliated him. This was the place where they had dropped filth over his head whilst he prostrated.Today, the disbelievers of the Quraysh were standing in front of him, defeated, disgraced and humiliated.
He said, “O Quraysh! What do you think I will do to you now?”
They rose up and said, “You will be good to us. You are an honourable brother to us, and the son of an honourable brother.”
Amazing! Had they forgotten what they used to do to this honourable brother? Had they forgotten about their insults:
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‘Crazy, magician, soothsayer?’ If he really was an honourable brother and the son of an honourable brother, then why did they wage war against him? What about the torture they had inflicted upon the weak and poor Muslims?
Bilal was standing there. Right in front of them! The marks on his body were still vivid! There was the tree where Sumayyah was murdered along with Yasir! Here was their son, ‘Ammar ,with the Muslims!
Yet, today they were saying, “Honourable brother”?
What about their boycott of the Prophet along with weak Muslims for three years in the valley of Bani ‘Amir, until they were compelled to eat the leaves of trees due to severe hunger?
They had not felt feel any pity for a crying child, nor a groaning old man, nor a pregnant or breastfeeding woman!
What about their wars against him at Badr and Uhud? What about their alliances against him at Khadaq? Yet, today, he was their honourable brother?
What about them preventing him from Makkah to perform ‘Umrah when he had come to them just a few years ago to do so? They had left him in al-Hudaybiyah and prevented him from entering Makkah!
What about them preventing his uncle Abu Talib from embracing Islam when he was on his deathbed?
There was probably a very long list of painful memories going through his mind as he looked at the faces of the disbelievers from Quraysh, as his sight fell on the roads of Makkah, and as he gazed upon the mountains surrounding the Haram.
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He was not alone, for the same memories were probably also going through the minds of Abu Bakr, ‘Umar, ‘Uthman, Ali and Bilal. Each of them had gone through a terrible ordeal at the hands of Quraysh. The Prophet Peace be upon himwas able to punish them with the most severe forms of punishments as they were enemy combatants, transgressors and violators of treaties. They had violated the treaty of Hudaybiyah and transgressed. They were criminals in shock, not knowing what would happen to them.
However, the Prophet Peace be upon himcrushed all grudges, rose with his noble determination, and said the words that would be remembered throughout history: “Go, for you are free!”
They left in joy, as if their feet were about to fly in the air due to their delight. They wondered, “Did he really pardon us?”
He then turned to look around the Ka’bah and noticed three hundred and sixty idols that were worshiped besides Allah, right next to Allah’s house! The Prophet Peace be upon himbegan to strike them with his hand and make them collapse as he said, “The truth has arrived and falsehood has vanished! The truth has arrived! Falsehood neither creates anything new, nor restores anything.”
A number of rebellious disbelievers from Quraysh, those who had a history of confronting the Muslims, ran away from Makkah before the Prophet Peace be upon himand his companions arrived.
Amongst them was Safwan bin Umayyah who fled Makkah. He was confused as to where he should head to, so he decided to go to Jeddah to board a ship and sail to Yemen.
When the people noticed the generous pardoning on part of the Messenger of Allah Peace be upon him, and the fact that he decided to overlook the painful past, there came to him ‘Umayr bin Wahb, who said, “O Prophet of Allah, Safwan bin Umayyah is the leader of his people.
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He has fled Makkah in fear of you and thrown himself into the sea. Please, grant him security! May Allah’s blessings be on you!”
The Prophet Peace be upon himquite comfortably said, “He is granted security.”
‘Umayr said, “O Messenger of Allah, please give me a sign with which he will know that you have granted him security.”
The Prophet Peace be upon himgave him his turban which he wore upon entering Makkah, so that when Safwan saw it, he would trust ‘Umayr’s words.
‘Umayr took the turban and caught up with Safwan as he was trying to board the ship.
He said, “O Safwan! May my father and mother be sacrificed for you! For Allah’s sake, don’t kill yourself! I have come to you with an assurance of security from the Messenger of Allah!”
Safwan said, “Woe be to you! Disappear from my sight and don’t speak to me! You are a liar!” He was afraid of the consequences of the evil actions he had perpetrated against the Muslims.
‘Umayr shouted, “O Safwan! May my father and mother be sacrificed for you! The Messenger of Allah is the best of people!
He is the most righteous of people! He is the most persevering of people! He is the most excellent of people! He is your cousin.
His dignity is your dignity. His honour is your honour. His kingdom is your kingdom!”
Safwan said, “I fear for my life.”
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‘Umayr replied, “He is too persevering and honouring to exact revenge!”
Safwan therefore returned with him and they reached Makkah. ‘Umayr took him to the Messenger of Allah Peace be upon him. Safwan said, “He claims that you have granted me security.”
The Prophet Peace be upon himreplied, “He has spoken the truth.”
Safwan said, “As for accepting Islam, then please give me two months to think about it,” i.e. I will remain in Makkah on my religion of worshipping idols for two months and contemplate whether or not I should accept Islam.
The Prophet Peace be upon himsaid, “You can think for four months.”
Safwan later embraced Islam – may Allah be pleased with him.
How beautiful it is to forgive others and forget the painful past! Without any doubt, only great people can have this characteristic - those who rise with their noble principles above the lowliness of revenge and retribution, grudge and rage. Life is very short. It is surely too short for us to soil it with grudge and malice.
Even with regards to personal matters, the Prophet Peace be upon himwas very easy going. Al-Miqdad bin al-Aswad said, “My friends and I arrived in Madinah and met people, but nobody accepted us as guests. We thus came to the Prophet Peace be upon himand mentioned to him what had happened. He hosted us in his house where he had four goats and said: ‘Milk them, O Miqdad. Divide them up in four portions and have one each.’
This is what I would do each day.”
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Every evening, al-Miqdad would milk the goats, drink from them, along with his friends, and leave a portion for the Prophet Peace be upon him. If the Prophet Peace be upon himwas present he would drink it there and then, and if he was absent, they would preserve it for him until he Peace be upon himreturned.
One evening, al-Miqdad milked the goats as usual and portioned it into four, drunk it along with his friends and left a portion for the Prophet Peace be upon himto drink when he returned. The Prophet Peace be upon him, however, got delayed. Al-Miqdad laid down in his bed and thought to himself, “Perhaps, the Prophet Peace be upon himwent to some Ansari’s house where they gave him dinner. Maybe I can drink his portion of milk!” His soul kept whispering to him until he eventually got up and drunk it, not leaving anything for the Prophet Peace be upon him!
Al-Miqdad said, “When the milk entered my stomach, I was very much taken by what had happened and felt remorse. I thought to myself that perhaps the Prophet Peace be upon himwould arrive at any time, hungry and thirsty, only to find his utensil empty, and thereupon he may even pray against me! I covered my face with my blanket.”, (due to sorrow).
After a while, the Prophet Peace be upon himcame and greeted people loud enough for those who were awake to hear without disturbing those who were asleep. Al-Miqdad was still lying in his bed looking at the Prophet Peace be upon him.
The Prophet Peace be upon himturned to his utensil to find it empty. He raised his gaze to the sky, and as he did that, al-Miqdad became terrified and thought,“Now he is going to pray against me!” But he was to be surprised at what he heard. He heard the Prophet Peace be upon himpray, “O Allah! Quench the thirst of whoever quenches mine, and feed whoever feeds me.”
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When al-Miqdad heard this, he thought to himself, “Take benefit of the Prophet’Peace be upon himprayer!” He got up, took a knife and approached the goats to pick one, slaughter it, and feed it to the Prophet Peace be upon him. He began to feel the goats to see which of them was the meatiest and most fitting to be slaughtered. Meanwhile, his hands fell on the udders of one of the goats, and it was full of milk. He looked at the other goat and it too was full of milk! He then noticed that they all had milk. He milked them all in a large utensil until it became full to the brim. He then took it to the Prophet Peace be upon himand said, “Drink, O Messenger of Allah!”
When the Messenger of Allah Peace be upon himsaw the amount of milk, he said, “Did you not drink your portions, O Miqdad?”
He replied, “Just drink, O Messenger of Allah…”
He said, “What happened?”
Al-Miqdad replied, “Drink first, and then I will tell you what happened…”
The Prophet Peace be upon himdrank some and then handed over the utensil to al-Miqdad.
Al-Miqdad said, “Drink, O Messenger of Allah…”
He drank and gave it to al-Miqdad, but he said again, “Drink, O Messenger of Allah!”
Al-Miqdad then completed the story and said, “When I realised that the Prophet’s thirst had been quenched, and that I was therefore worthy of being blessed by his prayer: ‘O Allah!
Quench the thirst of whoever quenches mine, and feed whoever feeds me’, I laughed so much that I fell on the floor!”
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Upon seeing this, the Prophet Peace be upon himsaid, “What did you do wrong?”
He said, “O Messenger of Allah, you returned late today, and I was still hungry. I thought to myself that perhaps the Messenger of Allah had something to eat whilst visiting some Ansar…” He related to him the full story, including the fact that the goats were milked twice in one evening very unusually.
Even the Prophet Peace be upon himbecame amazed as to how can the goats’ udders became full so quickly, for it is impossible for a goat to be milked twice in an evening!
The Prophet Peace be upon himsaid, “This was only due to Allah’s mercy. If you were to have informed me of this before I finished the milk, perhaps you could have awoken your two friends to share in this, too.”
Al-Miqdad said, “I swear by the one who has sent you with the truth, so long as you are a recipient of Allah’s mercy and I have a share in that, I don’t care whoever receives Allah’s mercy after us!”

Point of view…
Life is all about give and take, so give more than you take.
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