(66) Take them out of the ditch

(66) Take them out of the ditch

Has it ever happened to you that a person humiliated you publicly by insulting or ridiculing you about anything, even if it be about something as minor as your clothes, your words or your manners, such that your face changed colour as your discomfort became visible? But then, suddenly, another person came to your defence and you felt greatly indebted to him for helping you? Perhaps it was as if he had grabbed hold of your clothes to rescue you just as someone else tried to push you into a ditch.

Practise this skill with others and you will see it having wondrous effects.

You visit a person and notice his son coming with a plate of food, and while in the process of doing so, he hurries and nearly drops it. His father becomes angry at him and screams, “Why the hurry? How many times must I tell you not to hurry?” You notice that the son’s face turns red with embarrassment.

You say, “No. Don’t say that. He’s the man! MashaAllah, look at him, he is carrying all of this by himself. Maybe he hurried because he needs to tend to something else, too.”

How indebted would the son feel towards you? And if this is the case with the young, then how about with those who are older?

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What if you were to praise a colleague in a gathering after others had bitterly and mercilessly condemning him, or praise a brother after your family members unanimously turned against him?

A young man was made to feel embarrassed when a person asked him publicly, “Give us the good news, dear so-and-so!

What marks did you get at university?”

Tell me in the name of Allah, does any intelligent person ask such a question in public? The man’s face turned red, so I gently saved him by saying, “Dear so-and-so, why are you so interested in his results? Are you going to marry him off to someone? Or do you have a job to offer him?” Upon hearing this, everyone laughed and the question was forgotten.

If a person criticised another for a low average, you should say to him, “Dear brother, do not criticise him. The topic he is specialising in is difficult. InshaaAllah his grade average will be better next time.”

Intelligent people are always hunting for opportunities to earn people’s love.

Once ‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud –may Allah be pleased with him– was walking with the Prophet Peace be upon him, and as they walked by a tree, the Prophet Peace be upon himasked him to climb the tree and break off a twig to clean his teeth with. Ibn Mas’ud climbed up the tree,

since he was very slim and small, and began to break off a twig.

Meanwhile, the wind blew, blowing his garment and exposing his shins that were very thin and bony. When people saw this, they laughed.

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At that point, the Prophet Peace be upon himsaid, “What are you laughing at, the thinness of his shins? By Allah, they are heavier than Mount Uhud in the Scales!” (Ahmad, Abu Ya’la - Sahih)

How good must ‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud have felt when the Prophet Peace be upon himdefended and praised him after the people had laughed at him?

Point of view…

Intelligent people are always hunting for opportunities to earn people’s love.

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