16. The Prophet’s Guidance in Marriage and Marital Life131
* It was authentically narrated that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: “The most liked by me in your world are women and perfume, but the delight of my eye is the prayer.”132

He (Peace be upon him) also said: “O company of young men, whoever of you is able to marry should do so.133

And he (Peace be upon him) said: “Marry the affectionate woman who is likely to bear children.”134

* His life with his wives was characterized by good treatment and good manners.

He (Peace be upon him) used to say:
“The best of you is the best to his family and l am the best of you to my family.”135
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131 Zadul-Ma`ad (1/154)
132 An-Nasa'i.
133 Al-Bukhari and Muslim.
134 Abu Dawud.
135 At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah.
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* If one of his wives showed interest in something permissible, he (Peace be upon him) went along with her. He used to let the Ansaar girls play with Aisha (May Allah be pleased with him). When Aisha (May Allah be pleased with him) drank from a vessel, he (Peace be upon him) would take it and drink from the same place her mouth had been. He (Peace be upon him) used to rest in her room and recite the Qur'an with his head in her room, even when she had her menses.

* After the `asr prayer he would visit all his wives, one after the other to inquire how they were, but at night he slept in the house of the one whose turn it was.

* He (Peace be upon him) used to treat his wives equally in spending the night and in providing living quarters and in their maintenance.

* He (Peace be upon him) would have intercourse with his wives in the early or latter part of the night. If he had intercourse in the early part of the night, he (Peace be upon him) might have a bath or only do wudhu', and then sleep.
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* He (Peace be upon him) said: “Cursed is the one who has intercourse with his wife in her rear.”136 He (Peace be upon him) also said: “When anyone of you intends to have intercourse with his wife he should say: "Allaahumma jannibna ash-shaytan wa jannib ash-shaytan ma razaktana." (O Allah, keep us away from Satan and keep Satan away from what you provide us with.) Then, if a child is decreed for them Satan will never harm him.”137

* He (Peace be upon him) also said: “When one of you acquires a wife, a servant or an animal, he should grasp her forelock, supplicate Allah for blessing, pronounce the name of Allah and say: "Allaahumma inni as'aluka khayraha wa khayra ma jubilat `alayhi, wa a`udhu bika min sharraha wa sharra ma jubilat `alayh." (O Allah, I ask You for the good in her and the good in her creation, and I seek refuge in You from her evil and the evil of her creation.)138
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136 Abu Dawud.
137 Al-Bukhari and Muslim.
138 Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah.
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* He (Peace be upon him) used to say to the newly married: "Baarak Allaahu laka, wa baaraka `alayka wa jama`a baynakuma fee khayr." (May Allah bless you, send His blessing upon you and bring you together in goodness.)139

* If he (Peace be upon him) wanted to travel, he drew lots among his wives. The one whose lot came out would accompany him without making up the time to the others.

* It was not of his guidance to give much attention to homes, constructing, decorating or enlarging them.

* He (Peace be upon him) divorced a wife and took back his wives after separating from them for a month; and he never pronounced thihaar.140
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139 Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah.
140 A type of divorce common in pre-Islamic times that was prohibited by Islam.
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